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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28715388">Unreplaceable Love</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Liveforthestars/pseuds/Liveforthestars'>Liveforthestars</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Criminal Minds (US TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, F/M, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Living Together, Mutual Pinning, Slow Burn, i love them, they should've been cannon</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 10:34:46</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,944</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28715388</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Liveforthestars/pseuds/Liveforthestars</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>After Derek Morgan sees the photos the Replicator took, he fears not for himself but for the women he loves. He insists Penelope moves in with him for her own safety. What happens when they both love each other but are too scared to say it?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Penelope Garcia/Derek Morgan</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>32</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Prolouge</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>hi i hope everyone's having a lovely day! let me know your thoughts and suggestions!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Derek couldn’t breathe. He knew the Replicator was following them, stalking them, taunting them, but he had a small sliver of hope that she wasn’t a part of all of these games. He knew logically, of course she was because she was such a big part of the BAU. Normally it wasn’t like this. Normally he would be feeling anger and only anger. He was angry when he found out Hotch got attacked by Foyet. He didn’t even feel this panicked, this scared when he held Emily’s hand while dying. He remembers one time when he felt this way. It was when he walked out of a church, with more missed calls and text messages he could imagine. All of them saying his worst fear has happened, Penelope, his Penelope, was shot. She was supposed to be the safe one. He remembered thinking this back then and he was thinking it again now. He wasn’t used to feeling fear for her. She was the one who worried, not him. She didn’t face the evils face to face, she was the one who gave them drinks when they got home. He ran out of the room. He couldn’t see that board filled with her angelic face on them. He took out his cellphone and hit the speed dial.</p>
<p>“Chocolate thunder, please tell me this whole thing is over? That you got the bad guy and we don’t need to have a worry in the world?”</p>
<p>“Penelope, I need you to do me a favor.”</p>
<p>“Sweet checks, what’s wrong? You never use my actual name.”</p>
<p>“Baby girl, there’s photos. Of all us, at our homes, at work, everywhere. I am going to see if we can fly home tonight. I don’t want you being alone until we catch this sick son of a bitch. If we do fly home tonight, stay at the office until we get back and I’ll pick you up. If not Anderson is going to take you home and promise me you lock all of the doors and have the blinds pulled on all of your windows. Do not open the door until I call you. You’re gonna be staying with me and Clooney for a while. I’m not letting you out of my sight until we catch this guy.”</p>
<p>“Derek-”</p>
<p>“No, no objections. This man knows everything about us, he’s ten steps ahead and we are certainly pawns in his game. I got to go. It looks like CSI is here now. I’ll call you and let you know. Until you hear from me I do not want you leaving the building. Hell, even your lair besides going to the bathroom.”</p>
<p>“Derek, you’re scaring me.” “That’s not my intention baby girl, I just can’t risk you getting hurt.”</p>
<p>“Okay,” she said in too small of a voice for Penelope Garcia. He didn’t want to be hanging up the phone, but he knew that the safest place she could be was in Quantico. Besides in my arms. He couldn’t let thoughts like that plague his thoughts. He knew he loved her. How could he not. But he needed to protect her. This man was watching their every move and there were only so many ways he could keep her safe. Blurting out his feelings and putting yet another target on her back was a risk he couldn’t take. He had already failed to protect her once, and he’d rather die than do it again. No, Penelope Garcia could never learn of his love. No matter how much it hurt. He thought back to their trip to London. He could remember the exact moment he realized he loved her.</p>
<p>
  <em> “Baby girl c’mon we gotta get going if we want to catch out flight.” She came out of Emily’s loft trying to juggle her many bags. Derek couldn’t help but laugh. “Here let me help you,” Derek grabbed at least half of her bag and couldn’t believe their weight. “Trying to take all of London back with us are we?” </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Penelope just flashed him a beautiful smile and said, “Yes. Yes we are.” This caused both of them to let out a little chuckle. Her smile faded and her eyes turned misty. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“You know, you’re not the only one who’s going to miss her,” Derek said, putting his arm around her shoulder to pull her into a hug.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> “She’s just, she’s family. And it hurts to be away from family. And I get she needs to do this, because it’s too hard and she’s a different person, but sometimes it feels like we weren’t enough.” </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“Penelope Grace Garcia, that is the biggest piece of bullshit I’ve ever heard. You are enough. Emily just needs different things in life. And don’t act like she still won’t need you. Don’t act like you haven’t texted her in the groupchat with you, her, and Jayje 17 times since you’ve said goodbye.”</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> “You’re right,” she said wiping the small tears that leaked down her cheeks. “Just promise me one thing Derek. You won’t leave me. Even if you leave the BAU or the FBI you will never leave me.”</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> “I couldn’t if I tried baby girl.” They pulled away the smallest amount and he felt the sudden temptation to lean in and kiss her. To kiss every inch of her body and let the world know that he loved her. He loved her cute outfits, he loved her smile, he loved the way she got gifts for everyone on the team, he loved the little shimmer in her eyes when they flirted. He loved everything about her, because how could he not? How could he not love the one person who always found him when he felt lost? Then she kissed him on the cheek. And he would be lying if he didn’t say his heart shattered a little bit. He would be lying if when he saw the text from Kevin asking if they wanted to hangout when she got back, and the smile that shone on her face after reading that, if his heart didn’t break a lot.</em>
</p>
<p>He went back into that dreaded room and approached Hotch, knowing questions about his whereabouts would soon arise.</p>
<p>Hotch pulled him aside, “Everything okay Morgan?”</p>
<p>Morgan gave him the smallest of nods before saying, “I was just making arrangements to make sure Garcia would be safe until we got back. I don’t like the idea of her home alone while this guy is out there taking photos of us.”</p>
<p>“I agree, I know it’s late but I think everyone wants to go home tonight and assure themselves their loved ones are okay. I know I do.” Derek just nodded his head, grateful that Hotch proposed the idea and he didn’t have to bring it up.</p>
<p><strong>Derek</strong>: <em>Coming home tonight, we can swing by your place after I get back to the office and get anything you need. </em></p>
<p><strong>Penelope</strong>:<em> You know you don’t have to do this. This isn’t like when I got shot. I’m in the same amount of danger everyone else is in. </em></p>
<p>
  <strong>Derek:</strong>
  <em> I’m doing this for my own piece of mind baby girl. We’re getting ready to leave and should be home in and hour and a half. If you can’t stay up don’t sweat it, I’ll wake you when I get there. </em>
</p>
<p><strong>Penelope</strong>:<em> Be safe.</em></p>
<p><strong>Derek:</strong> <em>You too. </em></p>
<p>A good two hours later Derek finally pulled up to Quantico. He saw the odd looks of the team when he said he was going back to Quantico instead of straight home when it was 12:30 at night. He was lucky most of the higher ups worked so late so he could still get into the building. He walked quickly towards her lair, knowing that all of his worries would be quelled when he saw her. And he was right. When he saw her with all of her brightness and hope that was just somehow a part of her, he just felt better. That’s the effect coming home felt like, he guessed. She rushed and hugged him and he placed a kiss on her hair, knowing that was likely the only kiss he would ever be able to give her. They left the building, hand in hand. They only let go when they got into the car, and he needed both hands to drive. After they got her stuff from her place, (Derek clearing every room with a gun before he let her go into the apartment) they headed to his place. Instantly Clooney was all up on her. Clooney loved her. Dogs were always a great judge of character, although he never had any doubts about hers. She headed to his guest bedroom and he headed to his room. Walking away from her, knowing she was so close and this was all he would ever get, was one of the hardest things he’s ever done. But he’d continue to do it everyday if it meant she was safe. If it meant she was okay. If it meant she was happy he would walk through hell and back.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>thank you guys so much for the love on the prologue it made me so happy!! this is the first chapter and im sorry if it is a little slow or disappointing, i am anticipating the next chapter being a lot longer and a lot more in depth as it will be covering the events of 8x18. once again I do not own criminal minds nor any of the characters! tw: for stalking, body positivity, and inferred mentions of child sexual assault.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>It had been a week since she moved in, and already his home was decorated with little pieces of her. Lipstick on the counter, her clothes in the laundry, color… well color everywhere. He honestly cannot phantom how his house that used to be simple and presentable, feels more like a home with her there.  Derek knows he’s playing a dangerous game. He not only is living with her, but cooking with her (because it shouldn’t come as a surprise Penelope is amazing at everything), going to work with her, and doing everything a couple would do on the outside. And he knows if he continues on this path, the fact he will never get what a couple does with her, it may very well destroy him. But he could deal with it. He could deal with it because he knew he was keeping her safe. It still doesn’t stop the pang in his chest when she announces she’s getting coffee with Kevin.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He hears her rant and rant about how big of a dick Kevin is for being jealous and is hit with guilt. He’s jealous too, he just doesn’t let it show. Or at least he tries. He thinks he’s doing a good job until she tells him she’s having a friend over at her apartment. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Garcia it’s just not safe. For all we know he could be the Replicator!”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh c’mon Derek, I’ve gone out with him long before this whole mess even started!” He knew she was right. Logically at least. But when she said she’s gone out with him before logic was thrown out the window. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well we all remember last time you met a guy in a coffee shop don’t we?” Derek couldn’t believe what he just said. How could he? He felt an incredible amount of guilt and shame. “Baby girl, I’m sorry, we both know I didn’t mean it.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“We both know deep down you do,” Penelope says with a shaky voice. “But what you don’t know is that every guy I meet know gives me their number, and I learn everything about them. If there’s a hidden criminal record or even the slightest thing off I never see them again. He isn’t like that. I am being safe with him, Derek. This isn’t my first rodeo you know?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You know I’m sorry right?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Of course. And you know you’re forgiven right? Because I don’t think I could ever stay mad at my chocolate thunder.” He forced a chuckle and a nod of his head. How could she forgive him? He was awful, and he would never deserve her. Derek was upset at himself. He knew he would never have Penelope the way he needed her, but he did he have to do and ruin their friendship too? He gave her a kiss on her cheek and knew he would yet again fall asleep alone, knowing nobody could fill the void Penelope Garcia unknowingly put in his heart.</span>
</p>
<hr/>
<p>
  <span>Penelope Garcia was frustrated. She was sitting in Derek’s guest bedroom pondering how she got here? She didn’t know how much longer she could go on like this. She scheduled that date with Sam and was hanging out with Kevin all trying to use them as a replacement for the one thing she could never have. She was not stupid. She didn’t walk into this thinking Derek would one day wake up and be magically in love with her. That just wasn’t going to happen. Penelope knew she was beautiful, that was something she never let herself doubt anymore. But she wasn’t beautiful in the way Derek Morgan viewed beautiful. She wasn’t a skinny, normal, white picket fence girl that Derek had always longed for. And for a long time that was okay with her. But she couldn’t stand in his home and think about just how many girls have been here before she has. Can’t help but think about the number of girls who slept between his sheets, with his bare arms wrapped around them. At the office, or at the bar, she could all push it away. It wasn’t that big of deal it was a simple out of sight out of mind type of thing. Except it wasn’t out of sight, so it wasn’t out of mind.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Penelope had developed a habit of sobbing in the shower. It had all started that night. Derek could never know she was crying, for he was too much of a damn gentleman. As much as that night gave her pain it had to have been her favorite memory. That was what unrequited love was like she guessed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>It had been a slow day at work, and they were both craving a little fun. They were both starving but knew they both wanted a home cooked meal, after eating nothing but fast food for the past week. Penelope told Derek she would be cooking tonight to repay him for his protection. There was one small problem with that. While being a great baker, cooking was one of her few weak areas. Oh well, how hard could it be she thought? Apparently very hard.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Derek had been getting dressed after taking a shower when he heard the smoke alarm. He instantly ran out of his room and saw Penelope pulling out something that was burning and smoking. That big beautiful grin she loved so much plastered on his face as he doubled over in laughter.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“So not funny Derek! It’s not my fault I don’t know how to work your super fancy oven!” Her tone was mad, but she couldn’t stop her own grin from coming on her face.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Uh huh baby girl we’ll go with that. Looks like the man of the house will be doing the cooking tonight.”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“No you will not,” she said, slapping his hand away from grabbing the spoon to stir the sauce. “I promised you I would make you dinner. Please just let me do this one nice thing for you.” She saw his smile soften and her heart skipped a beat.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Here’s an idea. How about we cook together. If work has taught us anything it’s that we make a kickass team.” Penelope instantly agreed and they started on a new task. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Thirty minutes later the kitchen was filled with music, laughter, and the amazing smell of their dinner. Penelope loved how domestic everything felt. She loved the way Derek was so concentrated on cooking and getting everything exactly right and the way he said they would do it together, but let her put out the chips and salsa because he could see her having trouble with not being perfect at cooking dinner. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Her heart stopped multiple times that evening. The most vivid one was when she was reaching for a bowl, and Derek gently put his hands on her hips to move her out of the way so that he could grab it for her. She knew she imagined it, but she liked to believe if the timer didn’t go off then he would’ve slowly leaned in and kiss her. Because for some reason he stayed there with his head tilted down staring into her eyes for more than was needed to move her to grab the bowl. She sighed, knowing this was all in her head. But what she couldn’t imagine is the way being in love with Derek Morgan could have changed her life. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She smiled fondly, through the tears streaming down her face. Everything would be okay she kept telling herself. They would catch the Replicator, she would move back into her own apartment, it would all get easier. Although she knew this was a lie. It would never be easier now that she knew everything about him. It couldn’t when she knew the way he glided around the kitchen or when he cheered when his team scored. A knock on the door startled her out of her thoughts.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey baby girl, we got a case plan to leave here in 20.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Okay be right out,” she called out to him, turning off the water. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>An hour later they walked into the BAU together, just like they have for the past month. They went to the round table room where she presented the case and the team headed off to Chicago. She figured Derek would enjoy being back in his hometown, knowing how important his family was. What she hadn’t prepared for however was the cracking voice on the other end of the phone telling her that this was all about Buford.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>sorry this is kind of short but the actual chapters should be longer!!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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